


Almost Easy

by zugzwangxo



Series: Pandora [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Song fic, avenged sevenfold - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zugzwangxo/pseuds/zugzwangxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The consequences of Spencer's actions are more than he'd ever bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Easy

Spencer scrambled toward her, realising just what he’d done as he watched her eyes fill with tears, but it was no use. Y/N turned and ran back into the house, forcing Spencer to chase after her and leave Pandora in her car.

Why did he do this? What was going through his mind every time he gave in? It was as if he couldn’t deal with the way he’d become, loving one but lusting for the other and being stuck in this cycle of needing it more and more. Did he really think he’d be able to hide it forever? Once he caught up, the extent of his mistake was written all over her face; a face of complete anguish at his betrayal.

_I feel insane every single time  
I'm asked to compromise  
Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways  
And that's the way it stays  
So how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance?  
By that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip  
_  
“Y/N, please,” he started, begging. “I… I didn’t mean to… I must be crazy to have…”

“To have what?” she snapped. “Gotten caught?”

“No, it’s not like that,” he added. “I just… I couldn’t help it. Please, believe me.”

“Oh, I believe you,” she retorted. “I believe you just destroyed everything we have.”

“Don’t say that,” he said, reeling back. “We can fix this, just give me a chance.”

“Give you a chance?” 

_I'm not insane, I'm not insane  
I'm not insane, I'm not - not insane  
Come back to me, it's almost easy  
Come back again, it's almost easy  
_  
“I know I messed up. I should never have let myself get into this and I’ve hurt you more than anyone should ever hurt someone,” he explained. “Every time I looked at you I felt ashamed knowing what I was doing.”

“How long has this been going on?” she asked in horror, watching as Spencer pursed his lips and looked at the floor.

“A couple of weeks,” he said softly, barely wanting to admit it.

_Shame pulses through my heart  
From the things I've done to you  
It's hard to face, but the fact remains  
That this is nothing new  
_  
There was a long pause where she just stared at him, her mouth ajar as she lost her words. The wait for her response was more painful than anything he’d ever imagined it would be, holding his breath for her judgement which came in two words.

“Get out.”

“Y’N, please,” he pleaded.

“I said get out,” she repeated.

“Please, I know I’ve screwed up but she’s not worth losing you,” he began. “Just… let me make it up to you. Let me show you what you mean to me.”

“You already did that.”

““No, I can’t just let go of this,” he gave one last effort but it seemed like nothing would change her mind. This wasn’t a fight he was going to win in any way.

_Now that I've lost you it kills me to say  
I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away.  
I'm losing the fight.  
I've treated you so wrong, now let me make it right.  
_  
Y/N looked at him, sighing heavily before stepping toward him. Her eyes were sparkling in the light from her tears but in that moment the tears faded and all she saw was him.

“I remember when you first told me you loved me,” she said softly, smiling with the last of her strength. “I remember it because it was the happiest moment for me in such a long time and I never felt it losing meaning.”

“It never did,” he replied. “I still love you.”

“Well,” she responded as her smile faded. “You’ve still lost me. I don’t ever want to see you again, Spencer. Ever.”

…

Stepping out onto the street, Spencer looked to the space that Pandora’s car had occupied but there was nothing but unoccupied tarmac. The price he paid for giving in to his desires was losing everything he actually wanted and now he’d fallen to his lowest point, unable to see a way to redeem himself.

_Come back to me, it's almost easy_  
  
Flipping open his mobile phone, Spencer flicked through his contacts till he reached the number and hit ‘dial’. A repeating tone rang out and rang out in his ear, leaving him standing alone at the edge of the pavement.

“Hello?” came the voice on the other end.

“Derek, it’s Spencer. Could you come get me?” he asked. “I need a place to stay for the night.”


End file.
